36 Weeks

I'm in my 36 weeks already... 36 weeks and 5 days to be exact.  The time to finally meet and see our bundle of joy, Kaelin, is getting nearer and nearer.  And I couldn't be more excited... and anxious... and scared... 

... excited to see her and hug her and kiss her and smell her and just hold her in my arms

... excited for her to see the wonderful world outside of my tummy 

... excited to finally have my own child and be a mother!

... excited to start a new chapter in my life with her and Kit

... excited for her to finally use those baby things that her dad and I shopped for her, and of course, those given by our dear friends and family  

... anxious of the birthing process... when is real labor going to happen... will i be with Kit that specific time or will i be alone at our condo... how do i/we go about it... how can i tell if its real labor... is it necessary for my water bag to break to say that i'm in labor... is what i'm experiencing braxton hicks or real contractions already... when is the right time to go to the hospital...

... anxious if Kaelin is doing okay inside my tummy... is it still comfortable for her knowing that the space inside is getting smaller and smaller with her constant growth... is her umbilical cord strangling her or does it have knots making it hard for her to get the necessary nutrients from me... am i giving her enough nutrients... is she still in cephalic position (with the head down; not breech; the right position for normal delivery)... am i hurting her with the stuff that i do...

... scared of the actual birthing process... i want a normal delivery and i know it will hurt big time... scared that i might not know how to correctly "push"...

... scared of the daunting task of being a mom, a great mom... can i do it?  i will definitely try my bestest best!

As you see, I have LOT of questions and issues which I think is normal for a first-time mom-to-be.  Of course, its a new experience for me.  And being paranoid, I think, is somewhat okay.  Because there is no formula for pregnancy, child-bearing, and being a parent so I cannot just ask others for tips and hope that it too would work for me.  It's different for everyone.  The only common denominator is that we all want our child/ren to be healthy, normal and safe.   

I will end this post with a prayer by Vienna Cobb Anderson.

Prayer for a Safe Pregnancy

This life you have given us
is so tiny, fragile, and vulnerable,
safe in the womb of flesh and hope,
yet subject to danger and death.
O God of love, creator of life,
hear our prayer.
We want this baby so much.
Please grant this child of ours
a full term of nurture,
the joy and mystery of life,
and the blessing of Your love.
Grant us the fulfillment of our dreams,
a baby to cherish and protect,
a child to teach and guide,
a blessing to our family.
Amen.

Have a happy and healthy pregnancy to all preggy ladies out there.  =)