Why Do Nightmares Have to Come True?

Finally, my biggest nightmare has ended!

Let me start my story with what happened a couple of weeks ago...  It was a Thursday and my baby girl, Kaelin, was as normal and active as always.  So it came as a total shock when she vomited 5 times in the afternoon and in the evening.  What's weird though was that after she vomits, she acts as if nothing has happened to her.  She did not cry at all.  She just continued playing and smiling and shrieking.  Being the paranoid parents that we are, we brought Kaelin to the hospital just to be sure.  She might not be showing us that she isn't feeling well, but vomiting is never normal.  It might be an underlying symptom of something.  When we got to the hospital, the ER doctors and nurses played with her.  They were wondering why we brought Kaelin when they can see that she seems to be very healthy and fine.  She was laughing and shouting, to the amusement of everyone around her.  We stayed there for more than an hour, but when nothing happened, they told us to go home and just feed Kaelin less than what she usually feeds just more often.  They told us she just might have an upset stomach.  They did not do any test.  No CBC.  No urinalysis.  

By Saturday, Kaelin still was not feeding normally.  Before, she can finish 6 oz of milk in one sitting, now she can only finish 3 or 4 oz.  So, we went to her pedia in that same hospital and told him of Kaelin's condition.  How she vomited the other day, how she refused to finish her milk, how it seems that her diaper wasn't "full" or was dry in the morning, etc.  Again, Kaelin had no fever and still, was her active self.  So my pedia just prescribed a teething oral gel because, you guessed it, he thought Kaelin was just teething.  Again, no test whatsoever was done to her.  

Being no experts in the medical field at all, we fully trusted that Kaelin was totally okay and was just teething.  Imagine our surprise when last Sunday afternoon, Kaelin had fever.  A 39.4 c fever!  My mom and sister (Kit and I were on a date then, but went home immediately upon hearing the bad news) gave her paracetamol, and when we got home, Kaelin's fever was gone.  Again, she was her usual malikot self.  At 9 in the evening, it happened again.  A 39.1 c fever!  And she was shivering this time.  We gave her paracetamol just before we went to that same hospital.  By the time that we got there, Kaelin's fever has gone down but the ER doctor decided to do a urinalysis this time.  Lo and behold, my 5 month old baby has a UTI!  According to the test, her bacterial level was so high, it reached more than a thousand.  I told them of her vomiting spells a couple of weeks back and they told me that it was a sign already.  Wow!!!!  And they told me that just now?! They did not do anything back then.  They could have treated her then and we could have avoided all the pain my poor baby has suffered.  I am MAD really!!!  

So, we decided to admit her.  If you think seeing your 5 month old baby cry while a doctor is putting dextrose on her feet is hard enough to see, let me share with you a MORE PAINFUL and SCARY thing that no parents would ever want to experience.  

When we got to her room, she was okay.  Her fever has gone down to 37.9 c and she was already sleeping.  By 3 am, Monday, she woke up crying.  I couldn't pacify her.  Not my husband, not my mom, not the nurses.  I carried her and that's when I noticed that she was shivering.  She was having chills.  They took her temperature and it was 40.6 c! 40.6!  She was crying heavily this time... and Vomiting... and Shivering.  Her lips turned violet and her face was all red.  Her eyes were closed but she would not stop crying.  She was vomiting but she was having a hard time doing so.  And she was shivering amidst my arms and the multiple blankets we threw over her.  The nurses were all shocked and just stood there watching us.  We asked for the doctor.  After a few minutes (though for us, it was longest wait ever), a nurse came back and gave Kaelin a suppository paracetamol.  After quite some time, Kaelin has finally calmed down.  She wasn't shivering, vomiting and crying anymore.  She just slumped down on my chest, exhausted and sleepy.  I did not dare change her clothes or mine (even though we both were covered by her vomit), I just let her sleep... in my chest... hugging her.  I want to make her feel that everything will be okay and that mommy will never ever leave her.  That mommy will always take care of her.  And that mommy will always love her no matter what.  After an hour or so, when I sensed that she was finally sleeping okay and her temperature has gone down, only did I change her clothes and mine as well, so she can sleep a lot better.  

After that scary experience, Kaelin never had fever again.  By Monday afternoon, she was a happy baby again, smiling and playing.  We stayed at the hospital until this morning, just so the doctors can observe her more and make sure that she TRULY is fine before we go home.

Now, we are already home and she's sleeping. She's on  her way back to her matakaw self.  Haha.  She smiles a lot now, and laughs often, and gives me hugs and kisses (she opens her mouth and "eats" my face. hahaha).  It seems that she is happy that she's finally home.  And I couldn't be happier.  =)

It's just that every time I close my eyes, I remember her face that early Monday morning... all red, crying, vomiting, shivering, eyes closed, violet lips...  And it always pains me.  I never felt that helpless in my entire life.  If I could just take away that pain she suffered, I would in a heartbeat.  

What I can do now is be extra careful in taking care of her.  I do not want her to experience that again.  OA na akong nanay kung OA!  

Now, we are thinking of changing pedia.  We brought Kaelin two times (3 if you'll count the visit for her vaccine shot last week) before all this happened, and they did not detect that something was wrong with her amidst all the signs... vomiting... unusual feeding... dry diaper in the morning... etc.  If they just did some tests, they could have prevented it....  So, to change pedia or to give them another chance?

            

see her left foot?  ='(

i love you baby.  don't get sick again, please.